By Moose

I went on Facebook this morning to check my messages and I found out they are rebooting The Tomb Raider movies and an actress named Alicia Vikander is going to play Lara. I’m bummed. I’ve never seen Vikander act so maybe she could be a great fit acting wise, but she just doesn’t look the part to me. I think it’s based on the fact that I think Lara Croft is supposed to be hot. REAL hot.

Yes, I get it that Hollywood is not making movies for teenage boys who play Tomb Raider for the sole purpose of watching Lara’s tits jiggle. But at the same time you can’t deny, she’s a bit of an American icon. Not just in the video game world, but all over. She’s not just a character, she’s a fantasy so why not milk it?

I know what you’re thinking, Moose you only think this way because you’re an artist…and a pervert. That also is true but think about this. Do you think they cast Arnold schwarzenegger in Conan the Barbarian back in the day because he was in “good shape”? Hell no! They cast him because he was buff. And surely I hope you’re not thinking Pamela Anderson was cast in Barb Wire for her acting or cause she’s “attractive”. If you’ve seen that movie you’ll know she was cast for one reason and one reason only, her amazing rack!

I’m not saying they need to cast some exotic supermodel or something for the role. How about someone with the looks of Karima Adebibe? I thought she looked fantastic in Lara garb. I’ve never seen her act so I’m not saying it should be her in the movie, but I think it should be an actress like her that looks great in that snug top and tiny shorts.

Slightly more hardcore than that last sketch on the blog.